Grimly, My Snorting Soulmate
There’s love… and then there’s Frenchie love. That intense, dramatic, overly affectionate kind of love that clings to you like peanut butter on toast. I learned this the second Grimly entered my life. He’s not just my dog—he’s my shadow, my bathroom buddy, my emotional support gremlin, and the reason I have zero personal space left. If you live with a French Bulldog, you already know: they don’t follow you around because they have to… they follow you because they simply can’t function without you. Let’s explore the 10 outrageous, heart-melting, ridiculous signs that your Frenchie is utterly, hilariously obsessed with you
1. The Bathroom Bodyguard
You thought you were going to pee in peace? Think again. Frenchies have decided that bathrooms are a two-being zone. Grimly acts like I’m entering a war zone every time I close that door. He whines, he snorts, he dramatically throws his body against it like a furry battering ram. Open it, and he barges in, tail wiggling, like, “Good, I’ll stand guard while you… do your thing.”
It’s not that he wants attention—he thinks I might fall into the toilet and never come back.
🛒Amazon pick:
Dog Gate with Door – For those rare moments you want privacy... or at least a buffer.
2. The Silent, Soul-Melting Stare
You’re chewing toast, minding your own business, and then you feel it: laser-beam eyes boring into your soul. You look over—yep. There’s your Frenchie, staring at you like you're made of bacon. Grimly doesn’t blink. He just...watches. I’ve tried ignoring it, but five minutes into the toast, I’m offering him a bite just to stop the intensity.
It’s not begging. It’s emotional manipulation through eye contact.
🛒Amazon pick:
Treat Puzzle Toy – Keep their mind busy while you protect your snacks.
3. The Couch Ambush
Frenchies have a sixth sense for furniture movement. You think you’re sitting down to relax? WRONG. The moment your butt hits the cushion, your Frenchie is airborne, diving into your lap like it’s an Olympic event. Grimly launches himself with such commitment it feels like I’m being tackled by a warm bowling ball.
You become furniture. You shift = protest grunts. You move = betrayal. You get up = war.
Amazon pick:
Super Soft Couch Blanket – Protect your lap (and legs) in style.
4. Drama Every Time You Grab Your Keys
Shoes? Panic. Bag? Betrayal. Keys? Absolute devastation. Frenchies have this thing where they spiral the moment you hint at leaving the house. Grimly literally throws himself in front of the door like he’s preventing a kidnapping.
Sometimes he’ll drag over his favorite toy like, “If you go, take this. So you remember me.” I’ve started sneaking out like a criminal just to avoid emotional blackmail.
Amazon pick:
5. The Bed-Takeover Artist
Remember when you slept comfortably in your bed? Not anymore. Your Frenchie has colonized it like a tiny, hairy imperialist. Grimly doesn’t just lie beside me—he sprawls out diagonally, tongue out, snoring like a tractor.
If I so much as roll over, I get the death stare. How dare I disturb his beauty sleep?
🛒Amazon pick:
Orthopedic Frenchie Bed – Get one for them… so maybe you can have your pillow back.
6. The “You Left Without Me” Guilt Face
You leave the room for five minutes and come back to… disappointment. Their face says it all: “I thought we had something special. How could you leave me to stare at the wall and reflect on our bond?”
Sometimes Grimly will sigh, look away, and do a slow, sad blink like he's in a French art film. I’ve had boyfriends who were less offended by abandonment.
Amazon pick:
Automatic Treat Dispenser – Apologize with snacks while you do your errands.
7. Sniff-vestigations: The Loyalty Test
You’ve been out. You come home. Frenchie doesn’t greet you with cuddles—he goes straight to forensic sniffing. Pants, shoes, even your bag. It’s like he’s checking for traces of betrayal. “Did you see another dog? Did you let them touch you?”
Grimly once gave me the cold shoulder for two hours because I smelled like a Golden Retriever.
Amazon pick:
Pet Cologne Spray – Smell like a loyal Frenchie mama, not a dog park cheater.
8. Psychic Personal Assistant Energy
Frenchies learn your routine so well, they anticipate your actions like a furry Siri. If I stretch, Grimly jumps on the bed. If I open the fridge, he appears. If I cry, he’s in my lap with his paw on my heart like a tiny therapist.
He even reminds me when it’s 6pm. That’s his dinner time. Not mine. His.
🛒Amazon pick:
Smart Automatic Pet Feeder – Stay on schedule or face the dramatic side-eye.
9. Your Phone = Their Face Museum
Scroll through your gallery right now. Be honest. Is it 85% Frenchie? Sleeping Frenchie. Zoomies Frenchie. Frenchie in sunglasses. Grimly has more headshots than I do. He’s got Halloween looks, birthday pics, and spa day selfies.
Let’s face it: your Frenchie is your favorite subject. And they know it.
🛒Amazon pick:
Frenchie Selfie Stick Toy – Because every Frenchie deserves influencer lighting.
10. Suitcase = Betrayal
The second your suitcase comes out of storage, your Frenchie’s soul leaves their body. Grimly will sit IN the bag, ON the bag, or next to it staring at me like I’ve announced I’m moving to the moon without him.
He once hid my socks when he saw me packing. I got the message.
Amazon pick:
Airline-Approved Frenchie Travel Carrier – Bring them with you
They’re Obsessed… And You Love It
Let’s face it: your Frenchie is obsessed with you. And you wouldn’t have it any other way. Whether they’re cuddling, spying, guilt-tripping, or snoring directly into your mouth, their love is fierce, funny, and one-of-a-kind. They don’t just want to be near you—they need you. And honestly? We all need a little Grimly-level love in our lives.
P.S. Want more Grimly adventures, funny stories, allergy-safe recipes, and our favorite must-have products? Visit the blog homepage here and don’t forget to subscribe for weekly Frenchie joy
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